Today I woke up a little broken and everything felt wrong. All I want to do is curl back in bed and pull the sheets up and forget the world. Instead, I went about doing my daily chores, quite mechanically like I am supposed to do. Between being a mature adult and wanting to break free, the real me had lost her voice and was strangled to death. In one moment of fierce frustration the following words were penned.
I really wish I was like the crowd
Say things i don’t mean without feeling guilty
Be around people to kill time
Then move away like nothing happened
To indulge shamelessly
To take people for granted
To turn up late for a meeting
To inconvenience others while at a movie
To ask someone ‘how are you?’ When I don’t care
To drink my supposed woes away
To expect that people will be there for me
When I have no intention to do the same
To smile fake smiles
To put on a mask without flinching
I often wonderHow do they do it?
Does their conscience not hurt?
Letting someone down intentionally
How do they deal with guilt
Of not keeping one’s word?
Does peace prevail when the soul
Is burdened with wronging others?
What happens to the person?
Guilty of killing dreams
Of destroying love
Violating commitments?
I can never fathom.
I guess being a principled and disciplined person
Is a curse.
Ankhi 